I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
