Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
