Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
