Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
