it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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