just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
