He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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