Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
