it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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