Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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