Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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