he puts the penis in happiness.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
