sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize