Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
