Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i would punch a child for taco bell
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
