I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
