I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
