fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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