Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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