What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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