Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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