What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize