i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
