sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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