Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
that may or may not have been my penis.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
