how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
