people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
