There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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