I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
