My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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