yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
