I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nutella sex= disaster
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize