Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
