I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
