Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
