Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
