found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
