I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
