i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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