Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
