I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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