Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
