at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
