ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
