i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
