how do flat chested girls get laid?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Houston, we have a squirter
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
