He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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