Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
