So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
