Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
