im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
