Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
