I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
