How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
