Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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