we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He better not be in your backpack
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
