you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We were destined to go to rehab together
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
