blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I want her autograph on my taint
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we're so committed to being not committed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
