Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize