problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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