They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
