Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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