She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
